So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
