you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just invented taco cereal.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
