remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
