so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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