paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
