I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
