there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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