im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
