If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
