you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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