Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
