please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
