Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
