New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
