If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
