Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
