Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
