yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
