My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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