WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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