i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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