I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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