PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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