If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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