my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize