fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
