My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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