Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
