Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Watching her eat just hurts me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
