wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
