I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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