You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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