Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let's get the cat blown out
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
