Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need moral support for this bender
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
