Non-Jews are for practice
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
