oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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