I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
