okay pat passed out under dana's car
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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