Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You may now shotgun with the bride
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
