haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
