I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
