Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
