you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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