I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize