you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
