I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
