I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
