Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
