Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
