you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
