mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
