So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
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