my soul wont recognize me after tonight
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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