it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
