I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
