my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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