i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Randomize