I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
