No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Less talking, more tequila
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize