so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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