Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize