I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
