i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
