why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
