It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
